Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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