you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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