Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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