Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
