so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
