I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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