Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
