I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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