doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
