i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
