It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
