God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
