Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
