Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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