At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
