You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
