I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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