Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
