The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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