so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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