doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
