Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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