New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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