Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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