I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Say something about gay babies.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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