i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
