And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
