There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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