my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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