every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
