Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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