For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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