Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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