I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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