I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize