he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize