fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
