Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
