Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
