I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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