You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
