Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
