Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Two words: nipple clamps
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