I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
