I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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