thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
