I wanna bring you to show and tell
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
