my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
