Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
