let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
