Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
