Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
