why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
