I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
time to smoke my breakfast
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
