Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
