kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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