Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
