dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
